Does the fact that I cry in public, bring into question my sexuality?

Introduction.

This is a question that has long bothered men like myself. So, I have decided to write an investigative essay into this subject.

I go through life encountering situations that bring into question, in my own mind, my sexuality. I presume this is not a unique phenomena and all men feel the same, that is why I'm not embarrassed for my thoughts and ponderings to be in circulation. In fact, I quite enjoy the world examing the insides of mind and commenting upon it; it helps me gain unique, independent perspective. And, because I am such a unique person, I know people are fascinated.

The analysis of this subject will be broken down into three distinct chapters:

Chapter 1. Childhood - Over-comforting male adults and the school showers.
Chapter 2. Friends - Many girlfriends and homosexual friends. No real male friends.
Chapter 3. Experimentation - Should I take it further? Have I already?

That is just a taster to whet your appetite.

More to come soon.

The D(avid) man

How Are You?

At this time of year as the leaves turn from Orange to brown I often think about those I love and have loved, my friends and people who have drifted out of my life and I wonder how they are, how their year has been and what they dream of for the future

So how are you everybody?

I'd love it if a few of you would comment and let me know how its all been going

*smiles*

Wedding Bells

Today I attended my first ever Korean wedding. The night before I had also attended my first ever wedding party with the bride, groom and all there friends. It just so happened that the bride, SY, didn’t have too many friends from outside the hagwon (the school) so I was at least able to communicate with fair bit of the crowd there. The groom, HT, is a top bloke I’d met on a few occasions and I was introduced to his friends, most of which were working in the police department like HT
I got along well with his friends, probably a little too well as they kept insisting that both Aa (the new guy) and I drink copious amounts of beer with a shot of whisky dropped in (literally a shot glass of whisky dropped into a large beer mug). Its not quite as vile as soju bombs (soju in beer) but it has a more potent kick and within 15 minutes Aa and I could both feel the effect from it.
I gave up shortly after that and joined 3 of the other teachers at another hof (pub) for some serious heart-to-heart talks about life, marriage, and my long-term single status which apparently is quite a common topic of conversation at the hagwon.
Hmm…
The wedding day was simply glorious. My date for the day was one of my Chinese university students, M-ah, who, well, I’ve kind of been seeing. She came to my apartment before we’re picked up by one of the Korean teachers and taken directly to the wedding.
Korean wedding halls are amazing. Not so much that architecturally they’re anything to rave about, well not in Andong anyway, but just the way its set up. The Shelia Wedding Hall (실라) has 8 main wedding rooms. Each wedding room hold wedding after wedding, most not taking any longer than 30 minutes at a time. So as you can imagine they literally churn out married couple, and today was no exception. I’m not sure that many couple get married every Sunday, but it was a full roster and I reckon at least 30 couples alone got married today while I was there.
The wedding is brief, only 20 minutes, and really more a formality than anything. I wouldn’t say they were very emotional, well not for spectators anyway, but it was pleasant and I did enjoy it.
SY (the bride) looked absolutely beautiful and for about 15 minutes before the wedding we’re together just talking to her (5 or so girls and me) and keeping her calm. In fact I was the only male on her side of the wedding, so I think I experienced a rare moment of female bonding that most males probably wouldn’t see to often.
Anyway, enough of me yacking away, here are the pictures and video (only available to staypuff "friends")
David

Levi Cobb

Lunch was always my favorite peroid. I used to have a teacher who would let me leave early, so I could be first in the lunch line. I had B lunch, so it was in the middle of 4th period. Sometimes, I'd lose my lunch money, but the lunch lady, would give me my lunch anyway, and I would tell my mom and she'd send them a check at the end of the month. I liked mashed potatoes, and fries, but pizza was always my favorite.

These days, my wife doesn't like me eating pizza, because she says it will give me high blood pressure, and cholesterol, but sometimes when she's at work, I go to Mc Donalds and have a fish sandwich with ketchup and relish. I mostly have water, but once in a while I get a pepsi. On the walk home, I usually wash my hands in the public bathroom by duck creek, and I floss and brush my teeth before my wife gets home from work.

David is a Cocksucker!

This is a test.

Do not comment here.

This is a test.

I'm serious, do not comment!

Howdy partner

http://andyinkorea.blogspot.com/

Chanchthebadman: basic adventures

During basic, down in Brag, I was stabbing my way through the bayonet assualt course. DIs were at every dummie in case anyone needed a little motivation. Not me. I was stabbing with the force of a jackhammer, and letting out a resounding "KILL" everytime my blade pierced foam-rubber hearts of my enimies.

Then while I was running across a log, about mid-way through the course, I saw drill sergeant Shukman throw a dummie gernade at me from behind a tree. I hit the deck and rolled under a pile of tree limbs. The gernade exploded, and I waited for the air to clear, so I could continue the course.

Just as I was standing and pointing myself in the right direction, I heard a plantive meow coming from behind me. I reached back into the limbs and felt something soft and warm, so I pulled it out. It was a kitten, brown and white, couldn't have been more than 6 weeks old, and I wasn't sure what to do. Then my training came back to me. The call and response ("what's the spirit of the bayonet?") ("to kill to kill to kill without mercy") tore through my brain. I put the cat on the ground, and before it could move, I stabbed it through the back. My blade was bloody. I was eager to get back on course. "KILL KILL KILL WITHOUT MERCY" I shouted as i sized up my next dummy.

Walking, talking, LIVING Doll!

Well, not exactly walking, talking or living, but I decided to get a doll.

I know what you're thinking dolls are for babies. Not this kind of doll, my friends.

I recently watched the excellent, thought provoking documentary "Guys and Dolls." It was about men like myself, Simon and David at www.staypuff.net who have trouble meeting real women, despite our obvious attractions. We are all sensitive, caring, misunderstood souls, drifting through life hoping that true love will find us. But, so far no such luck.

It still amazes me. I mean I go paragliding, David does Taekwondo and rides a motorbike and Simon... erm...
Yes, we are all superheroes, but this is deemed irrelevant by organic women.

Guys and Dolls inspired me to look elsewhere. It introduced me to the excellent website www.realdolls.com. Their range is incredible and if you can't find a girl to suit you, they even take special requests. So, I sent in a picture of Ming-er and asked them to design the doll to be just like her. (She refused to let me take a plaster cast of her body.) They even let me request Kimchi breath - I know, it's amazing! And, it only costs $4000!!!

Anyway, she arrives next week. I'll post a picture and let you know how we're getting on.

The D Man.

Chuck Chuck--left my baby at the DMZ

My girlfriend was lookiong kind of pink
and I'm not even talking about her stink

So I thought I'd just let her be

But then she said "Pyeongyang"
and I thought, Oh, dang.

Left my baby at the DMZ

Chanchthebadman on travel, queers, street merchants, and darkies

Anyway, just got back from seoul. I was supposed to meet an old battle buddie in itaewon, but he got called up and deployed to Iraq for another 18 months--the bastards in the pentagon don't care that Bill jumped out of a C 130 into the Suni triangle back in 2002 and broke his knee when he landed, only then to be hit with a flash gernade. He's only recently been able to handle direct sunlight, and he still limps like a tired horse. He's a soldier, though, so he doesn't complain.

I had a night in itaewon alone, and I figured I'd try to enjoy it. I don't need R&R now as much as I did when I was a soldier, but I still like some peace and quiet away from the kids, you know? Well first thing happens when I walk down the street is this slope asks me if I need a tailor-made suit. Talior-made suit. I said no, and as I walked away, I thought of the suits Bill and I bought when we were stationed in Tibet, monitoring the Chineese troop movement. The pockets fell off. We laughed.

I never thought there'd be so many darkies in Korea, and I'm not just talking about Africans. I saw a mosque, and what appeared to be a paki. He sure smelled like a paki. That takes me back, that smell. They eye me suspiciously, because they know I know the score.

After a few beers, I went to go up hooker hill, but I must have taken a wrong turn, because I saw two men kissing, so I said, "what are you, a fucking queer." And one of them said, "Um, yeah."

I turned around and got the hell out of there.

For Jack

One of our most dedicated commenters, Jack Spratt put in a request for a picture of one of our favourite bloggers.

So, just for you Jack, here is the very holy Andy in Korea mocking Christ's crucifixion aboard a Devil coloured Daewoo Matiz.

51st post....YAY!!!!!!!!

Congratulations and well done everybody, we finally reached the magical 50 post mark!
On behalf of the team i'd like to thank everybody out there who has contributed to the comments section
except for varsity jock you snivelling little weasel
take care
we love you all

10 Important Things From the D Man's Bedroom

Love and some verses

Sometimes in life things happen that at the time seem terrible and much worser than before but eventually you know that the sun will come out and a brighter tomorrow awaits......

Hi guys
i hope its all going well in your amazing lives
ive been away from the blog this week, I've been flat out with the 'real' world and trying to get to grips with my existance
any time ive had on the computer has been dedicated to getting my jumbled photo files in some kind of presentable order!
i must have 75000 of them now and thyere all over the place, ive been meaning to head to seoul and pick up the frippypic 2pj7 for windows which would make everything easier......lord knows when the pics from bonjovia will be ready...*sigh*

anyway i popped over to the site and read dmans entry, D i really sympathise with your situation, but i think its time you realised that your girl is a bad lemon.
As much as i know you love her you have to come to terms with the fact that not only is she betraying you, but she is causing friction in the household by coming between you and Kay.
Im sorry to speak so frankly but i talked to S about your situation and she agrees...that girl is bad news...you need to stand up for yourself and tell her to move on, you can do better than that, visualise it in your mind before you sleep and it can come true.

My 'love life' (hah) has taken another turn, and probably for the best.
S and I have decided to become just "good friends"
we met last night downtown and had a lovely time over caramel frappachinos and a lovely slice of organic, fairtrade chocolate cake.... just devine

after a good chat in which we both talked honestly we agreed that moving toward a physical relationship is probably not the right step
we both share the opinion that 'sex' can be awkward, messy and a largely unnecessary activity that can harm true love
there were a few tears, laughs, and a second slice of cake in what turned into the most memorable moments of my life
ive never felt so close to another human being, and when it was finally time for me to go home to bed, it was clear that S and I had become true friends of the heart
we shared a good long hug outside my house and when I got upstairs I cried myself to sleep, just my bodies way of releasing all the emotion and anxiety id built up over the past few weeks

Tony has been really good and I dont know what id do without him to be honest, hes really been there for me, and S too over the last few days
He's agreed to take over the english-korean exchange class for a few weeks until the dust settles a little and S and I can meet without the tears
Tony has no interest in learning korean so this gesture is very good of him, hes going to take the class, and relay the relevant language notes etc to me after the class...what a guy, I really feel a strong bond between us so much so that this afternoon I told him, with an honest heart, that I love him too.

Well whenever I have a breakup I tend to turn to artistic pursuits rather than alcohol to feel better about myself, so this afternoon I started to write a song,
Ive been playing a recorder lately that I confiscated off a student and came up with a tune
so far I only have a few lines so if anybody has idea for the rest of the song please submit them
here we go

I LEFT MY BABY AT THE D.M.Z by Simon

I left my baby at the DMZ...
because a man with a gun came after me...
I was so blind that I did not see...
my baby standing in the DMZ.

My eyes teared up I began to cry...
If I was a bird then I could fly...
Across the sky to the tallest tree...
Above my baby in the DMZ.

Its more of a chant than a song I guess because i only play two notes and Tony said he'll break my nose if he hears the recorder from his room but I think theres enough there for you to get the idea
however I think it needs more verses, maybe something that touches the emotions of people in this beautiful land and could perhaps reunify the peninsular and heal the broken hearts seperated by war

thanks guys
and take care
hugs

Simon

A Day In My Life

I heard recently, that the British Library is making a historical blog. A cross-section of people have been chosen to record what they did on a particular day and this record would be secured in the British library for future generations to peruse. The day that was chosen was October 17th, as it was the most normal day on the calendar.

Inspired by this, I decided to be original and do exactly the same, and try to pass it off as me being spontaneous. So, here goes:

3:07am - Awoken, by a strange banging sound from K's room. I know he was helping Ming - Er (the girl I was dating (kind of dating (well, went out for lunch with (once (Ok, she stood me up (but, she definitely likes me (despite, not returning my calls (and consistently avoiding me))))))) study English, but I'm sure she left hours ago. He must be putting up a picture up or something (I wish he'd stop screaming like a girl, must have hit his thumb!!!!).

6:04am - I managed to get back to sleep about exactly 34 minutes ago. Awoken, by the sunrise and the birds singing beautifully in the trees. Wipe away a tear and decide the world is beautiful. There's a small wet patch on my bed again, must have spilt some water last night. Maybe, it's condensation.

6:31am - Time for my power walk. See Ming-Er coming out of the bathroom as I leave. She is dedicated to her studies, turning up at this time to learn another language. I think I'm falling in love. She shoots me a look, that says "Die, creep!" , but I know it's just a cover-up for her real emotions. She is my soulmate. Realising this brings a tear to my eye, I wipe it away.

I'm out on the street now. There's a chill in the air. Winter is definitely on it's way, a novelty for a WA boy like Moi.

7:02am I arrive at the river, 1km from my house after building up quite a sweat. Check watch, 31m24s a new record. Feel in great shape.

The leaves have started to turn that beautiful orange colour. Decide the world is beautiful for the second time today. Wipe a tear from my eye.

I get out my prayer mat and face Mecca. I begin to pray, don't know what I'm doing really. I just utter Insallah, shabash and the names of Pakistan cricketers repeatedly until my ritual is interrupted by a drunken tramp throwing soju bottles at me. I feel becoming a Muslim has made me a more spiritual, peaceful person and people really respect me now.

7:37am - Back at home. Bacon sandwich for breakfast. Pork is OK for Muslims, isn't it?

K is teaching Ming-Er how to kiss 'Western style.' His dedication to educating her really goes beyond the call of duty. Manage to fight the tears welling up inside.

7:51am - Ride my scooter to the University I have just started teaching at. Today I reach 40km/h, the fastest I have been, yet! The students seem despondent, which is surprising, because my lesson is fascinating, After class, I linger, I can hear them talking about a big night out they are having this weekend. Wait for an invite.(I'm still waiting, bless them, they were too shy to ask).

9:18am - Back home. I decide to download some photos. I have some good ones of my feet (I have an in-growing toenail.) I also took some good images of the bacon sandwich I ate this morning and the glass of water I drank. Decide to name my camera Bek Seju.

10:01am - I'm a minute late to class, but I have that rebelious streak, so I don't care. Mary, a sweet little kid shows me her affection by kicking me in the shin and shouting "GESEKI" at me, I think it means I love you. How sweet. The tears come back, but I fight them.

The next twelve (I took a few off K, he's under a lot of stress) classes follow a similar pattern. Kids show their love for me through excessive violence, none of the other teachers are loved this way.

8:21pm - I ask all twelve of my co-teachers if they'd like to join me for dinner. They all have legitimate excuses, again. Fair enough, they are very busy people.

I walk downtown. Past the famous meat restaurant I went to on my first night here, but have not been invited back to since. I would go in, but they don't really care for people on their own, who does?

I peer in through the window. K and my other co-workers are all there, happy as Barry. I would go in, but they obviously didn't invite me for a reason. My contract is up soon, so they must be planning a leaving celebration for when I'm gone (I mean going).

I get some fried chicken on a stick and head down to the river.

8:45pm - Down by the river, again. The circle of my day is almost complete.

The sun sets behind the trees. The fish jump in the river. The birds glide past. A dog shits next to me. A young couple, who must be 15 stroll past, they are so much in love. There is too much beauty in this world.

I can't bear the beauty. Emotions overpower me, joy, sorrow, joy, grief, pity, joy. I put my head between my legs and cry.

9:12pm - I'm still crying.

9:14pm - Contemplate suicide.

9:18pm - Decide too many people love me and would miss me. Make a mental list of all the people who love me.

I cry on....

9:54pm - and on...

The D man.

ON THE BLOB

At www.staypufff.blogspot.com we like to help out people in difficulty. One of our favourite bloggers is having problems with a friend. Can you help? Have you been through a similar experience?

miss m has been screaming for the past hour. she's experiencing her first every menstruation. she's not liking it one bit. she doesn't want dragon lady (our mother) to know. apparently she has no right to know.i've organised for one of her friends to come over when school finishes. just to explain that it's not horrible, it is natural and she will get used to it.for as long as i can remember she's been adament it's not going to happen, and she's not going to grow up. i don't understand where this HUGE dislike for it has come from. miss a is completely aware the process will happen, and isn't happy about it, but sure as hell won't freak like m did.ANY advice is welcomed, PLEASE!

XXX mas is Coming

That time of year is coming again.
The time we all love.
The time when families and friends come to celebrate a joyous religious occasion.
The time when everybody sings beautiful carols.
The time when we all eat drink and be merry.
The time when we take a moment to think about the poor and needy (Do they even know it's Christmas?).
The time when we give something back to the ones we love, to show how much we care.
The time when we welcome a new year and a new beginning.
The time when we make resolutions.
The time when we light up our towns and homes.
The time when we build pretty little snow man.
The time when the portly bearded one decends our chimneys.

Yes. That's right Christmas is coming and I, for one, can't wait. I've already started buying presents. I hope you're ready.

Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year.

The D man.

P.s. I had to be the first.

Adam and his missus

Adam Brown was kind enough to send us this photo of him and his lady, so I thought I'd do the only decent thing and put it up here for everyone to enjoy.
Whats it say on your tshirt dude?
'Gangster for life' or 'Pornstar for life'?

my old eyes cant tell

The Religious Wrong

I'm sick and tired of the internet (and the world in general) being populated by patronising, pontificating, ignorant religious fuckwads, like Andy in Korea. They never miss an oppurtunity to spout some bullshit or other about God. They take a picture of a flower and thank God, they have a good solid shit and thank God, there wife dies of AIDS and they say God works in mysterious ways, they blow up a building and they're doing it for God, they bomb a country, mollest a child and on and on and on. Then at the end they always justify their actions, by saying it's God's will, or God's testing them. What kind of sick fuck of a God, would give us AIDS, Tsunami's etc?

Stop being such spineless arseholes and take responsibility for your own actions. And, accept that shit things like hurricanes and aerthquakes happen and there is a scientific explanation for them.


Different religions.

His name was God. No, you're wrong, it was Allah.
Jesus, No, Mohammed. Bible, Koran.
Red hats, green hats. Star of David, Cross.
Left, right.

What a load of fucking nonsense. It was all written by humans. Humans who were either scizophrenic, drunk, meglomaniacs or just taking the piss. So, who gives a flying fuck where your holy land is? Or, which piece of your flesh you should cover.

It's like the God damn enlightenment never happened.

The Very Reverend Gerry Paisley

El Rey Chancho's Gente

Don't send me anymore questions. I'm no longer going to read them or respond to them. STOP. It's become painfully obvious to me over the last 10 years that people, when engaged directly, are rarely candid, and usually about as obtuse as a dead circus clown. NO

While this decision has been coming for a long time, I was finally prompted to stop taking questions, not by a stupid submission from Max Delay (Leeds) asking whether or not green belt land in England should be converted into permanent settlements by gypsys (no) (duh), but by a man right here in the Chancho's own back yard.

As most of you know, I play the piano at The Torch Light Inn on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays from 7:00 to 9:00. The Torch Light is a nice place on the banks of the Wapsipenecan River, some 20 miles north or Davenport, Iowa on old highway 61. It's a quaint, quiet place, with large windows facing the river, and clean hardwood floors. I enjoy the time I spend there because it gets me out of the house during my wife's T.V. time.

I usually play what I'm in the mood to play, but recently I've been taking requests, which gets me to the other reason why I'm not taking YOUR questions anymore.

Last friday, while I was just finishing up a rather arduous rendition of Chopin's Largo in E Flat Major, when someone in the crowd shouted, "Play us some Bach."

Usually, the requests are to be written down and put on my bench before I arrive, and I can't say I liked this man's monkey-house shout, but I decided to be as gratitous as possible, under the circumstances. I played some Bach.

When I was about mid-way through Masses and Magnificants, I noticed the man who'd made the request was having a rather heated argument with the bartender. I looked back at the keys and paid it no more mind, until i was tapped on the shoulder. I looked up and it was him, the request man, standing behind me, with a whiskey in his hand and a frown on his face. "STOP," he said.

I stopped playing and turned around in my seat and said, "yes?"

He paused for a moment, and then turned and looked at the crowd. All was quiet. Then the man shouted, "WHY IS THIS GUY PLAYING BACH LIKE A FUCKING WETBACK?" He turned to me, hesitated, then threw his whiskey in my face and ran out of the room.

WHY IS THIS GUY PLAYING BACH LIKE A FUCKING WETBACK?

WHY?

Now there's a question. That's good. Much better that YOURS. SWEET. SPICK, BEANER, WETBACK--you name it--I've heard it.

I'll answer that.
Or try.

I'm German-Irish. I've been to Cancun. I've never worn a hairnet, I don't work at gonzo's, don't wear dark glasses at night, hate burritos, work legally, don't steal jobs from honest americans, when I say essay, I mean 5 paragraphs, 12 font, double spaced, no tattoos on this stomach, when a man looks at my wife, I don't knife him or her, never knifed anyone, don't inhale paint thinner to get high, don't have a mexican accent while having no working knowlege of the spanish language, don't jump borders, Fox's not my president, mexico city not my capital, hate texas and arizona and southern california, and I don't have a 64 chevy impala.

In short, I don't know why this man thought I was PLAYING BACH LIKE A FUCKING WETBACK, but I'll keep the question in mind when I make decisions about what to play next week.

Until then, take care

El Rey Chancho

A Very Short Confused Poem

There once was a girl called Dave,
She insisted she was a boy,
But, we all know she was being coy,
It was man love he really did crave.

Man Love Moment

http://andyinkorea.blogspot.com/

Fun with Andy

Andrew Brown "AndyinKorea" http://andyinkorea.blogspot.com/

had a wonderful afternoon drive the other day around the greater Pohung area.

I couldnt resist posting this great pic of him showing his playful side in the magic castle.

Thanks Andy. Keep them coming and may the lord be with you!

God Bless

A good morning at home

Yes it has been awhile....
the last two weeks have been a blur of travel, I've definitely had enough of buses for awhile! I'll fill you in with snippets over the next few posts

where should i start?

well in the end after much debilleration I decided to 'bite the bullet' and take the trip to Seoul and meet the Staypufff gang. After the week I'd had previously I thought it a good idea to leave my comfort zone and 'blow out the cobwebs' in a new environment, and although it was a mixed time, in hindsight it was probibly a good idea

I'm not going to get into too much detail this post about the occasion, i will say it was good to finally meet Chuck, "Dman" and who I think was El Ray, although he didnt introduce himself to me.
We had a good few beers, mine mixed with soda of course, and Dman blew out his candles.
Afetr the long trip there i was sleepy and went to bed before the others, it was a good time, althouggh I will say, Chuck, I never want to meet your friend Adam again, he may be a nice guy but THAT behavior was totally uncalled for.

Anyway back on the home front, this morning I was to meet my special friend S at 8o'clock for another wee study session, her big english presentation is due next week so I agreed to help her iron out some of the wrinkles
She was to come to my house, and with the lounge room out of the picture (due to Tony having another 'big night' which i REFUSED to clean up) I got up at 6:45 and set up a nice little study area on the floor of my bedroom (bold, i know), complete with an asian coffee table, pillows, juice, and crackers with cheese!
after an hour setting up the space I was feeling quite proud and a little exhausted,
so when I got a call from S at 7:55 saying she'd slept in and couldnt make it I was understandably a little disappointed, but I said that was fine and we'd meet tomorrow

I dont mind when S cancels on me, i know how busy she is, but I'm concerned about fujitsu, I know that MrHong, although not speaking to me, has his heart set on me completing the second sego by November and its going to be a struggle at this rate.

So after a 5minute lie down I packed up the crackers and juice to return to the refridgerater,
as I opened the door into the hallway Tony's door opened at the same time, something which NEVER happens before 12, and who should walk out but S!!!
Of course i initially felt the worst and began to shake uncontrollably, but S quickly explained the situation.
It turns out she hadnt slept in this morning but was woken by her mom early and had to drive her grandmother to the hospital, she'd had no time to have a shower, and was still wearing her clothes from yesterday and after waiting for an hour for her grandmas diabetes tablets she realised she'd left her work keys with her friend who'd given them to Tony, so she sneaked up to his room to get them, and didnt want to disturb us!

what a sweet girl, I can't understand why she couldnt just tell me the truth, i could have got the keys for her and saved her the walk up the stairs!
Oh well! I spent the rest of the morning 'vegging out' in front of the box, something which has been long overdue.

Tony got up at 12 as usual in a rare good mood, he whistled in the shower, and even cleaned up the mess in the lounge!
afterwards he took me out for Mandu and Ramen, over which we had a great chat.
I've never seen him so happy!
"Whats with you Tony?" I asked as we were walking back home, "I've never seen you in such a good mood!"
"I just woke up on the right side of the bed SiGuy!" he said, "todays a good day and youre one of the good guys!"
"you too buddy!" I said.

I get the feeling things are gonna be a lot better around the house from now on.

Simon

User Feedback

We got this idea from the great Rodney Olsen.

Our customer service department is constantly trying to improve your blogging experience here at staypufff and so We'd be more than pleased if you'd take the time to answer some or all of the following questions for us.

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What is the meaning of life? Don't say love.

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One more question. Although I really want the truth, good and bad, can you please try to be kind?

Bar Bar Butt

I poem by a fellow blogger. rebecca who is valued higher than diamonds. I think this poem is very well writen

Friday, April 12, 2002to hell
not one word, not one noise
on that night you made a choice
you looked left, i looked right
the wrong choice you made that night
i loved him, you loved her
and we're not together anymore
he loved me, she loved you
and now i really hate you
one stupid move, one stupid action
now i'll deal with the repercussions
i have learnt, and so must you
you can deal with the repercussions too
i'm the victim, don't act innoncent
when your time comes, to hell you'll be sent
Posted by rebecca :: 9:13 AM :: 1 Comments:
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keep up the good work becca. I love you babe.
chucks

Three things that made me wanna barf today

1) The presumption by one of my co-workers that I didn't want to join her for lunch.
2) Stalone--have you seen that guy?
3) a wet fart I had at 10 this morning--it's 12 and I still haven't changed my shorts.
4) the fact that my scrotum is tight sometimes, and loose other times.
5) no one scratches their balls. they say they scratch, but they dont

A note from the BOSS

I feel a little clarification about the intent of this blog may be required.

The concept had been gestating in our collective womb for at least a year. We wanted to create a space on the web for like minded people to express themselves freely. We did this because certain other bloggers wouldn't allow us to do so.

We wanted the most innovative and brilliantly original minds out there to enhance our blogs credibility. So, we advertised. It was a simple advert, it asked people to submit a 5000 word piece on a subject of their choosing. The response was staggering, and it took us many months to trawl through a lot of hard work, some good, some bad and a lot just damn awful, before deciding on our cast.

The winners came up with original pieces, such as "Relationship Rage: Does the fact that I want to bodyslam the woman I love make me a schizophrenic?" This was a beautifully emotive piece of work by a great writer you all know as El Rey Chancho. And, "I'm Backing Myself: How to make everything you do a competition." This surprisingly, was from the affable Simon. The D man's piece was called, "A Lingering Sadness: Does crying in public bring into question my sexuality?" Needless to say, this touched even the coldest hearts and inspired the title of the blog. As you have probably noticed, we have many more writers on our books. We feel each person brings something unique to the table. We are also always on the look out for new talent and will add to a roster if a suitable candidate should arise.

Before last weekend, non of our contributors had ever met. We felt this was essential for quality varied output. It remains to be seen whether the fun and games last week will dilute the purity of this site.

From the outset, we gave each of our authors a simple mission statement. "Go fly, be free." Basically, we want them to use their exceptional talents to create a blog unlike anything ever seen. So far, I think their efforts have been a resounding success.

Bar Bar Butt

P.s. Those of you calling for certain people to be banned from commenting please grow up. Sites like www.Staypuff.net may engage in such negative, immature behaviour, but that is not and never will be our policy. COMMENT IS FREE!

Straypuff

Just when you thought it was time to find a new hate.
David www.staypuff.net is back. It turns out he's had 'domain name' problems, which means he locked himself in his room, sucked his thumb, and cried for a week.
I've included this early photo of David in which he looks younger and less emotionally damaged than nowadays.
It represents a fresh start.
I for one cant wait to hear what hes been up to over the past week, so far hes been fairly quiet which says to me that his heart has been broken again.
lets find out together

Seoul Brothers

Do you see what I've done there with the title? If, you don't get it, I'm not going to explain it to you.

Sorry, for not posting at all this week. The reasons for this will become apparent as I unravel and convey the story of the last few days to you.

As the title of this post suggests, I went to Seoul at the weekend to meet the other contributors to this blog. I know, technically, they're not my brothers, but for artistic purposes it kind of works. I also expected to see numerous other friends and colleagues, as it was my birthday. But, alas, I was disappointed. It is understandable, though. Communication and travel are both very difficult. It's often very hard to find a computer with Internet access, or a working phone in Korea. It can also take up to 4 hours to get to Seoul from certain areas in this country, a medievally long time, I think you'll agree.

Getting to Seoul was easy, I went to my local bus terminal and asked for "SEOUL GASEYO, HAN JANG JUSEYO." The guy's drinking soju in front of the ticket machine I'd just got my ticket from were obviously impressed. So, I gave them my rendition. They were amazed by my incredible acumen.

It went a bit like this:
JE IREUMI DER DEE MAEN IMNIDA
JUHO SARAM IMNIDA
SUMUL GOPIL IMNIDA
YEONG-OR SEONG SENG NIM IMNIDA

It was just like that for ages, they were speechless. In fact motionless. They even relaxed and closed their eyes, as my dulcet tones reverberated around the bus terminal.

Anyway, I got on the bus, for the 3 hour journey. I made sure I had a tinkle first, you all know what happened last time. I was the first one on there, the bus steadily filled up. But, by the time we were leaving, I would say it was still only half full. Just as we were pulling out of the terminal, this rather attractive looking, young (about 16) Korean lady, ran up alongside the bus, begging, pleading to be let on. The driver complied. She got on, glanced at her ticket (which had her seat number on it), looked at me loathingly, looked at all the empty seats, then, low and behold, decided to sit next to yours truly. I just ooze magnetism.

She got comfortable, I started on my honed spiel, JE DEE MAEN IREUM DER IMNIDA. Just like the old sleeping guys, she was transfixed. Five minutes into the journey her eyes were closed, I think she was in nervous awe, so I continued, GAE JOHAYO. Which means, I like gay (dog). I know this always amazes Koreans. Then, in a move that was obviously an indicator of impending success with women in Seoul (more of which later), we rubbed shoulders. Not twice, but once. She obviously found me irresistible.

We got to Seoul, Paris (I give all my Korean friends Western names), had long since moved to another seat. She was just too excited next to me. She charged off the bus, giving me a lingering glance as she left, a glance that said, "touch me, or speak to me again and I'll slit your throat." Korean girls are so cute.

It's funny, you can hold your bladder for three hours, but as soon as you know there is a toilet available, a certain nervousness descends upon you. And, I often let out a little dribble. I could see a toilet, but I'm not one to miss a chance to speak Korean. I asked a nice looking young lady, "JANGHWANG SIL ODI ISSEOYO." To which she replied, "You mean toilet, it's right there in front of you, can you not see." I was really starting to dribble now, so I sloped off, giving her an evil stare as I left. She's missed a chance to get to know a real sensitive guy.

The subway in Seoul can be quite difficult to navigate at the best of times. As you already know, I have fundamentalist faith in my ability to speak like a Korean and exist like one, in fact, somedays, I think I am Korean. Bearing this in mind, I decided to get to my final destination by only using the Korean writing (gul-han) on the subway maps.

Six hours later, I arrive in the meeting place. The infamous, Titaewon. A hot bed of cultural integration and activity.

Oh... Gotta go. My flatmate Kay is calling me. I think he wants me to taste his sauce or change the TV channel. Maybe, he wants me to take some more of his classes. After all he only has 4 a day, compared to my 12. He sounds impatient.

I'll continue the story later, or maybe one of the other guys can comment. I know Simon took a handful of photos that he was going to post. I know you're all eager with anticipation.

Stay cool

The D man.

poem written by chuck

A Poem . . . . . .

The Beginning . . . .



Is that what it is?

beyond the shadows

that breath without a body

who's smile's in the flowers.


I can't tell


People say the glass is broken

I say the room is breathing

Your mansion has many rooms

who's breathing windows

burst the glass
and
bend the will
and
see the smile

even when the flower is gone.