Seoul Brothers

Do you see what I've done there with the title? If, you don't get it, I'm not going to explain it to you.

Sorry, for not posting at all this week. The reasons for this will become apparent as I unravel and convey the story of the last few days to you.

As the title of this post suggests, I went to Seoul at the weekend to meet the other contributors to this blog. I know, technically, they're not my brothers, but for artistic purposes it kind of works. I also expected to see numerous other friends and colleagues, as it was my birthday. But, alas, I was disappointed. It is understandable, though. Communication and travel are both very difficult. It's often very hard to find a computer with Internet access, or a working phone in Korea. It can also take up to 4 hours to get to Seoul from certain areas in this country, a medievally long time, I think you'll agree.

Getting to Seoul was easy, I went to my local bus terminal and asked for "SEOUL GASEYO, HAN JANG JUSEYO." The guy's drinking soju in front of the ticket machine I'd just got my ticket from were obviously impressed. So, I gave them my rendition. They were amazed by my incredible acumen.

It went a bit like this:
JE IREUMI DER DEE MAEN IMNIDA
JUHO SARAM IMNIDA
SUMUL GOPIL IMNIDA
YEONG-OR SEONG SENG NIM IMNIDA

It was just like that for ages, they were speechless. In fact motionless. They even relaxed and closed their eyes, as my dulcet tones reverberated around the bus terminal.

Anyway, I got on the bus, for the 3 hour journey. I made sure I had a tinkle first, you all know what happened last time. I was the first one on there, the bus steadily filled up. But, by the time we were leaving, I would say it was still only half full. Just as we were pulling out of the terminal, this rather attractive looking, young (about 16) Korean lady, ran up alongside the bus, begging, pleading to be let on. The driver complied. She got on, glanced at her ticket (which had her seat number on it), looked at me loathingly, looked at all the empty seats, then, low and behold, decided to sit next to yours truly. I just ooze magnetism.

She got comfortable, I started on my honed spiel, JE DEE MAEN IREUM DER IMNIDA. Just like the old sleeping guys, she was transfixed. Five minutes into the journey her eyes were closed, I think she was in nervous awe, so I continued, GAE JOHAYO. Which means, I like gay (dog). I know this always amazes Koreans. Then, in a move that was obviously an indicator of impending success with women in Seoul (more of which later), we rubbed shoulders. Not twice, but once. She obviously found me irresistible.

We got to Seoul, Paris (I give all my Korean friends Western names), had long since moved to another seat. She was just too excited next to me. She charged off the bus, giving me a lingering glance as she left, a glance that said, "touch me, or speak to me again and I'll slit your throat." Korean girls are so cute.

It's funny, you can hold your bladder for three hours, but as soon as you know there is a toilet available, a certain nervousness descends upon you. And, I often let out a little dribble. I could see a toilet, but I'm not one to miss a chance to speak Korean. I asked a nice looking young lady, "JANGHWANG SIL ODI ISSEOYO." To which she replied, "You mean toilet, it's right there in front of you, can you not see." I was really starting to dribble now, so I sloped off, giving her an evil stare as I left. She's missed a chance to get to know a real sensitive guy.

The subway in Seoul can be quite difficult to navigate at the best of times. As you already know, I have fundamentalist faith in my ability to speak like a Korean and exist like one, in fact, somedays, I think I am Korean. Bearing this in mind, I decided to get to my final destination by only using the Korean writing (gul-han) on the subway maps.

Six hours later, I arrive in the meeting place. The infamous, Titaewon. A hot bed of cultural integration and activity.

Oh... Gotta go. My flatmate Kay is calling me. I think he wants me to taste his sauce or change the TV channel. Maybe, he wants me to take some more of his classes. After all he only has 4 a day, compared to my 12. He sounds impatient.

I'll continue the story later, or maybe one of the other guys can comment. I know Simon took a handful of photos that he was going to post. I know you're all eager with anticipation.

Stay cool

The D man.