El Rey Chancho's Gente

I'm sorry, people, but I can't take it anymore. The only reason I wade through the river of shit, that is your weekly questions, is because I'm usually able to find at least one that is pertinent, well thought-out, and worth the time it takes to write an answer.

This is an advice blog. I give practical advice, so I'm in now way willing to field questions that have to do with the treatment of sexually-transmitted diseases (MIke Finn, Omaha,), the probability of Jesus returning within the next 20 years (Harold Smith, Freson), how old is Joan Rivers (Molly Beckert, Denver), or have I seen, and if so, what do I think of, Snakes on a Plane (Jason Wheeler, Baton Rouge).

If you want to bother someone, bother your local clergyman, your friend, your doctor, or, for the love of Christ, get on google. Google would know the answers to your stupid questions, and for those of you who are still off-line, you wouldn't have to spend 33 cents on a stamp. I know what you're thinking--if I had google, I'd have email, too, right. Yeah well then explain this to me wise ass: how the hell do they read my blog if they aren't on-line.

Fuck

I've made a promise to my editor, so I'm going to answer one question, but if it weren't for her, I'd be printing out all these questions and using them to wipe my ass for the next 100,000 years--that's how many stupid questions I've recieved.

I've chosen this question at random, and I haven't read it yet, because I knew if I did, I'd puke.

Okay here we go. Oh good. It's a good one. Yes. WoW. Thank you very much Jessica Weibler, from Saint Paul. You've made my day. I'm sure all the students at Lincoln Junior high school are going to be very jealous. You might even be able to make some friends. I'm not sure, though.

I really hope one of your bleeding-heart, left-wing teachers put you up to this. Those types would put a student in harm's way, without a second thought, for no other reason, but that their cowardice compels them thus, but they complain when our president puts U.S. troops in harms way for a righteous and just cause.

I'll get on with the damn thing.

Question:
Dear Mr. Chancho,
Why is there an ever-widening divide between the rich and the poor in this counrty?
signed, Jessica Weibler

That question, Jessice, while being trite beyond comparison, is easy to answer, so I don't hate it as much as the question asking if it is possible to change the oil in a '71 Chevlle using only a pair of pliers. By the way--Yes Ron Jordan, fleetwood Ohio, it is possible, but you can figure it out your-fucking-self.

Back to Jessica. Jessica, the reason your stupid teachers wanted you to ask me this questions is because they're afraid to expose their stupidity on a public forum. I'm sure they've given you some long-winded, pretentious, verbose, uppity, explaination for the "ever-widening divide between the rich and the poor in this country". But I'll tell you right now, They're wrong.

The explaination, Jessica, is quite simple. Everyone, rich and poor, has a finite (thats limited, teachers) amount of resources. Since the trash of this country continue reproducing like flys, they've exausted their resources. Not enough to go around. You never see rich white women who have 6 kids and are on welfare, do you?
There's your answer. Tell your teachers that, instead of lobbying for more assistance for the poor and disenfranchised, they should go give them condoms.

See you next week,

El Rey Chancho