Chanchthebadman: basic adventures
During basic, down in Brag, I was stabbing my way through the bayonet assualt course. DIs were at every dummie in case anyone needed a little motivation. Not me. I was stabbing with the force of a jackhammer, and letting out a resounding "KILL" everytime my blade pierced foam-rubber hearts of my enimies.
Then while I was running across a log, about mid-way through the course, I saw drill sergeant Shukman throw a dummie gernade at me from behind a tree. I hit the deck and rolled under a pile of tree limbs. The gernade exploded, and I waited for the air to clear, so I could continue the course.
Just as I was standing and pointing myself in the right direction, I heard a plantive meow coming from behind me. I reached back into the limbs and felt something soft and warm, so I pulled it out. It was a kitten, brown and white, couldn't have been more than 6 weeks old, and I wasn't sure what to do. Then my training came back to me. The call and response ("what's the spirit of the bayonet?") ("to kill to kill to kill without mercy") tore through my brain. I put the cat on the ground, and before it could move, I stabbed it through the back. My blade was bloody. I was eager to get back on course. "KILL KILL KILL WITHOUT MERCY" I shouted as i sized up my next dummy.
Then while I was running across a log, about mid-way through the course, I saw drill sergeant Shukman throw a dummie gernade at me from behind a tree. I hit the deck and rolled under a pile of tree limbs. The gernade exploded, and I waited for the air to clear, so I could continue the course.
Just as I was standing and pointing myself in the right direction, I heard a plantive meow coming from behind me. I reached back into the limbs and felt something soft and warm, so I pulled it out. It was a kitten, brown and white, couldn't have been more than 6 weeks old, and I wasn't sure what to do. Then my training came back to me. The call and response ("what's the spirit of the bayonet?") ("to kill to kill to kill without mercy") tore through my brain. I put the cat on the ground, and before it could move, I stabbed it through the back. My blade was bloody. I was eager to get back on course. "KILL KILL KILL WITHOUT MERCY" I shouted as i sized up my next dummy.
posted by Bar Bar Butt @ 9:33 PM
4 Comments:
At 9:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
That reminds me of the time my friends and I found a cat tied to a telephone pole with a leash. Somebody must've been shopping or something and didnt wanna leave it in the car.
Anyway... Lloyd took some fishing line out of his bag, tied one end loosely around the cats neck and the other to the bumper of a waiting EMS truck.
Man when that truck drove away, that cat's head came off like a beer cap.
Now the question i would like to put up for a survey is....
Who has more severe mental problems, Chanchthebadman who stabbed the cat with the bayonnet or my ole pal Lloyd who popped the head off the cat by way of truck/fishing line?
At 10:38 PM,
Anonymous said…
since when does killing a cat make a person mental? I've killed more than cats, that's for sure.
At 12:26 AM,
Anonymous said…
Cat + Microwave + FUN!
And that's all I gotta say about that.
At 2:14 AM,
Anonymous said…
thanks again Levi... for being the most boring man we've ever heard from
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